Each caregiver in the household - mom, dad, grandma, uncle, whoever - should take turns doing special time with each child at home, says Murphy. Special time is recommended for children ages 2 to 7.

Harlan claps as August plays to show him that she's having a good time. For example, if your child puts an orange block on top of their tower, you might say, 'You just put an orange block on top of your tall tower!' Again, this demonstrates your interest in their actions.

So when you're sitting with your child, go ahead and describe their activity. They describe what they're seeing for an audience.' And remember, sportscasters don't 'coach the game or tell the players what to do. Narrate what your child is doing as though you're a sportscaster calling a game, says Harrison. That is what makes special time therapeutic.'

This might mean little to you as the parent, but it means the world to a child to have you join them this way. 'Children don't feel enough power in a world that's dominated by adult demands. 'They're going to give me an instruction, and during special time I am going to follow that instruction,' says Harrison. If they don't want you to imitate them, they'll let you know. This shows your child you're playing with them. If they are making dots on paper with a crayon, you make dots on paper with a crayon. If they are stacking Legos, you stack Legos. The way we think about it can shift how we value mothering For example, if you see a child encouraging you to dress up a doll first, then going second, you might say: 'Thank you for letting me take a turn.' 'Rather than saying 'good job,' because kids hear that all day long,' says Harrison, 'say 'I love the way you stack those blocks high.' ' Focus on behaviors you want to see more of and provide positive affirmation. Give your child specific praise as you play together. Keep these directives in mind as you play with your child. These actions encourage adults to follow their child's lead, provide positive attention and ignore minor acts of disobedience, with the goal of reinforcing appropriate behaviors. Researchers developed the acronym 'PRIDE' to help parents and caretakers remember the tenets of child-led play when engaging in special time. For example, instead of saying 'Good job!' you might say 'I'm so impressed by how many blocks you stacked!' When engaging in this activity with a child, psychologists say it's important to give them specific praise, especially for behaviors you'd like to see more of. So how can parents get their kids to be more apt to comply? It might sound counterintuitive, but one strategy widely recommended by children's health professionals is to engage your child in short, daily sessions of child-led play.Ĭalled 'special time,' it gives young children a chance to interact with their parents without the stress of having to follow directions - which in turn, strengthens the bond between them, says Roger Harrison, a pediatric psychologist with Nemours Children's Health in Wilmington, Del.Īugust stacks Legos during special time. And when they don't, that can be very frustrating for parents. Sometimes kids listen to the instructions - and sometimes they don't. Life Kit visuals editor Becky Harlan engages her 2-year-old son, August Grabowsky, in 'special time.' It's a kind of child-directed playtime that children's health professionals say can be helpful in treating disruptive conduct in kids.ĭo you remember what it was like to be a kid? So much of the day was directed by adults.

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